I am so, so sorry that happened to you. It never fails to amaze me just how awful people can be, and this just makes me wish I could scoop up your child self away from harm. I just wish I could actually just forget the entire thing altogether — my parents were extremely overprotective of me as a child, I've never had the heart to tell them about the time they couldn't protect me from.
Twenty years later, I can face what was done to me, but it'd destroy them if they ever found out. That's a good point you bring up about having it blanked out maybe being a good thing.
I don't know what knowing would do to me, but I'm also one of those people who has to pick at a scab if I have one, so I'm constantly wondering what on earth it was that's so bad my brain made me forget, and sometimes I wonder if my morbid imagination is worse than the reality. Either way, I'm sorry you went through it. A choice between remembering something horrible or forever guessing isn't one anyone should have to make.
I know what you mean about it being like a scab — my mind keeps returning to the memories I do have of it, despite the fact that I want so badly to forget. I hate the fact that it happened at all, and the influence it has over me — I didn't get a choice in it, and I hate that I have to carry even those vague bits of memory around because I just can't see why I have to. If the memory-wipe from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind existed, I have no doubt about the fact that I'd use it.
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Though I did wonder as I grew older, whether he'd tried it with any of the other kids at the day care he was the son of the woman who ran the daycare centre my parents left me at , and I hope to God he doesn't have access to children now. I guess I'm lucky in that it happened over a short-ish time and my parents pulled me from the daycare, I don't even know how I would have held up in a situation like yours. I'm sorry for all this blah, but sometimes it…helps, in a way, to know I'm not alone.
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Though what a thing to be not alone for. And thank you for listening, you are braver than I would ever have been. I had the same worry about him doing something simliar to someone else, especially since I found out he got married and had a kid several years ago, but last I heard, he was in jail for an entirely separate offense, so that gives me some comfort.
Being bullied might not even remotely be up to the same level of what you've been through. Wow I'm so sorry all of that happened. I don't know if you want or need hearts or hugs or tea with oranges hi I like Leonard Cohen but I give all of them freely. In other news, I want to hug you through the Internet, and also tell you that I'm glad you shared your story and I believe you are incredibly brave.
Yeah, I lived in a REALLY small town my graduating class had less than 80 students, to give you an idea and everyone knew everyone else. Even once I moved to my grandparents, I was within 2 minutes of the house where all this stuff happened to me. People threatened me for "hurting his reputation" and insisted I was lying—it got so bad that I couldn't even ride the bus to school, so my grandmother drove me to school every single day for five years.
I barely slept at night and I found out recently that my grandmother slept in the living room with a gun at her side because we were all afraid that my former step family would come to our house in the middle of the night to break in or set the place on fire. See, I was in the middle of a situation like that it involved my aunt being abused by her husband, who was a police officer.
People were angry at HER for telling the truth about him. They became angry at our entire family because we stood by her. I wish sometimes that I could round up all of the sucky people and just put them on an island so they can live together and be horrible to one another. Anyway, sorry for going off on my tangent there, just that part in particular made me so rageful.
Yeah, I'm really mad to say that it didn't surprise me at all. You deserved better than that. You also deserve to talk about it. It must have been difficult to watch and to share. I find it brave, as I am not good with self-disclosure myself. I probably will not watch this episode again, but not because it was a bad episode, far from it. It was too good at what it did. I definitely understand the 'trigger' this episode can cause. I made the mistake of re-watching it today while I was writing up my thoughts about it and…yeah. A mistake. I think it's a good episode, and I'm glad it exists because there are people it will help feel less alone, but…yeah, I am not at a place where I can handle it.
I wish I could put into words how sorry I am that you had top go through that. Nobody in this world deserves that. And this is why I have trouble watching this episode—because the dismissiveness that both Joyce and the police display happens way too often in actual real life. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
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I can't believe a cop tried to retroactively slut-shame an eight-year-old. I've only just seen this. Whenever I'm depressed or feeling down I put on my overalls.
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It's a comfort thing. Equal parts "these are the comfiest pants I own" and "No I don't care what I look like right now". I'm pretty sure I picked up that habit from watching this episode repeatedly. The way Joyce treats Buffy in the beginning just breaks my heart.
I know she was drugged and manipulated and I do forgive her for it. But when she sides with Ted over Buffy? That hurts.
More than most things. And then Buffy kills Ted and we get the whole "oh shit, Buffy killed a human. And I just love Buffy so much in this episode. She knows what she did was wrong and she owns it and her guilt is heartbreaking. But Ted comes back and this time Buffy gets to wail on him guilt free. I love that she kills him with a frying pan. It's the perfect symbol, both because it's a "woman's weapon" playing into women belonging in the kitchen and because it's how Ted was manipulating Joyce, Xander, and Willow.
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Ohg zber ba gung va frnfba fvk…. We also own 'Melancholic Hoodies'. In happier situations, we call our pyjamas or jogging bottoms 'Relaxypants'. Ted is one awful, misogynistic motherfucker, isn't he? Who then made a robot of himself that reenacted the Bluebeard legend.
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Ye gods. Until I saw him in this, I never knew he could be so creepy! I'd previously only known him from Three's Company and the Problem Child movies, and then suddenly here he is scaring the shit out of me.